from now on my penis is your penis
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
