I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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