I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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