That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize