I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
