that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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