Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
