Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
