Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
They are going to name an STD after you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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