I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How does one acquire holy water?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
