So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
