I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
