On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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