Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
