I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
