As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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