We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
