We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize