Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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