So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
