It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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