I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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