i can't believe i had my finger in that
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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