Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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