They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so let's talk penis.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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