just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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