Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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