Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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