I wannas sexs uuuuu
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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