Need sex. Gaining weight.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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