If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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