Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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