I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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