Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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