she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
