apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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