Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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