I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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