yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sorry my hands just texted you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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