Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How does one acquire holy water?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
