was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
