I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
