Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize