Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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