My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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