i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
