Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you had me at cake vodka
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
