Don't you send me to vm
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
