Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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