my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
