yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
