I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize