Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I want a musical about memes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
