This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
